Watching boo eat breakfast always makes me giggle, his lil chubby cheeks & full up hick ups are the cutest* #myheartisyoursstudley

Flashback Friday*

Our beautiful Ducky all tiny & cutee tutti. This was one of our first trips out together. You had a babychino party with your teddys. Love how much you look like pops here, so stunning & ickle* You were nearly two, Ive known you longer than I havent now & you are just so special to me boo. My darcey doo cherub pie cute toot ducky doll*****

Studley bubb, i love love lurve your chubby cheeks, knuckles & chin* the cutest pic that still has me giggling. Your beautiful side sweep hair & gummy smile. Your whole character oozes out of this pic!! Its funny too you have the same as mama, when you smile super hard your left eye goes smaller than the right** I love you bambino, you lil cherub boo. My absolute angel child!

Im just so incredibley lucky to have these lil angels that just make love fizz in my chest. My heart exploding with such laughter at their cheeky faces & innocent smiles. 143 sweet babys**

Snow day again Studley boo*

Snow day again. I was stressed out with the snow, I hate feeling the cold & when its so unexpected especially for March it had me mad as Im so wishing for some spring sun & fun now. You however sweet boy were so exhilarated and in awe of the cold white fluff adorning nannas garden. We had to stay overnight at Nannas as the roads were too dangerous to travel once the snow had fallen for a few hours & we were warm & cosy there having spent the day with Uncle Sam (see before post), watching Fireman Sam & playing cars & neenaws. You woke with such excitement & once everyone that didnt have to go to work (basically all our family but daddy) came up you headed outside geared up in many layers ready again for the snow. It wasnt coming down much by then but still chilled your cheeks in an instant. I decided not to join you as I was just too cols & had had a shower so with wet hair had a brilliant excuse not to leave Nannas fire warmed home. I stayed snuggled under her blankets :) You had a blast & straight away headed for the blow up plastic sledge Sam had brought in January. You were dragged to the graveyard where you all made a small snowman & chucked snowballs & Mike, Vicky, Sam, Joey & Dave all took turns in running down the hill guiding your sledge & turning the corners at silly speeds with you giggling hysterically & holding on for your life hoping not to flip. Im glad I didnt come out as Joeys videos showed that you loved this experience but I for sure would have said it was too dangerous & stopped the boys pulling you so fast!! You stumbled through the deep snow & enjoyed sitting in it getting frozen. You came in after half an hour & we snuggled under blankets to get you warm & then it was nap time. Everyone grumbles & curses me for taking you away from them & playtime but you need you naps still angel as you get so tired. You are definitely having a mega growth spurt & seem to be sleepy a lot this week as I wake you from your nap early to finish an activity or get you ready for dinner etc. I decided today you could do with the rest & to leave you to wake yourself but after reaching four hours I had to wake you. Your poor sleepy face was so sad as you must of been dreaming of such fun in the snow but you were cheered up but the prospect of going to see Juli's new puppy Merlin. He is such a dream & so fluffy & adorable. I want a puppy so much & i know you would absolutely love to have a puppy at home to play with every day as you so adore Roxy. Will bug daddy on that one huh!! We then went for a carvery dinner with all the family, it was such a nice evening. We all stacked our plates super high & ate silly amounts & still ordered a dessert each. You had ice cream with marshmallows which u loved & we were sat in a nice secluded corner so you were able to run about a little with Sam & Mike & you pretended an area was cornered off as crocodiles were in the water. Sam pretended to fall in & it was just so cute seeing you concerned & run to his side & get him up & run to safety. You’re so lovely & so well behaved & a charm. Everyone fought to sit with you but you chose me & Uncle Sam hehe. Everyone just so adores you baby. I adore you so very much & love you beyond measure. Sweet dreams sleeping baby, see you in the morning** 143

day to day*

I never have really documented diary like what me & Jaspey do on a normal day so just thought of interest Id write some of this down, his recent loves, his obsessions, his fave foods etc. Just so I can remember one day as Im sure an eighteen year old Jasper reading this wont care at all what he ate when he was two years old (currently thirty two months haha*)

I write this at 1am as I cant bloody sleep, we got snowed in on a trip to Nanna's & thought it was far to dangerous to try the roads so am sleeping in nannas bed with my little snuggle bundle. He's snoring away his little cosey snore & lips smacking. I love on odd occassions sleeping in the same bed as him as although he will wake me stupidly early by kicking me in the stomach & finding it funny that mummy ended up in his bed, he really does love to cuddle in his sleep. He reaches out for an arm to wrap his rounds & his hot breath gets closer & closer to me as he snuggles even tighter. Hes so blissfully beautiful when he sleeps too. I know all babys are but my lil turtle toot has pouty lips, soft eyelids & a button nose I just wanna kiss over & over.

Today being that it started snowing manically was a day inside. We played with his best ever friend Roxy (nannas dog) & chucked balloons for her to chase, she plays keepy up with them which amuses him so much* Mondays is the day Nanna usually has Jasper for the day so I can work. Everyone knows this & makes plans each week to stop of at mums to see Jaspey. I often get photos & videos messaged to me at work of the fun activities the Monday club brings** Today Uncle Sam & Uncle Mike were home from work early so Sam came & got us from home & they both set about painting the wooden toy car he brought studley to paint & make from Iceland!! The concentration of boo's face was priceless & his obsession with the colours red & black didnt go a miss so Sam painted some toy car too. He gets very particular that man & almost cant let go of his stubborn toddler ways of what I say goes, he was desperate for Jasper to use some blue & green haha!! Whilst that dried we did painting & had snacks. Vicky joined us & boo snuggled with her & played a game on her iphone. He really does love Vicky & asks me quite often to phone her. Shes so good with him even when she reports back after babysitting that she almost lost him when she was txting (I took this lightly & Im hoping it was from sarcasm of course hehe*) Bubb had his nap which he still has everyday that he's not at nursery, he sleeps from 12 or 1 o'clock & it always lasts over an hour or two but actually of late he has had a major growth spurt & are some days sleeping past three hours. I then have to wake him which pisses boo right off & he's crouchy with me for a good half hour until I bribe him with chocolate & Spiderman. Nursery is Boundstone Daycare centre but as of next week he will be moving to Rainy Days pre-school literally a hop skip & jump away from our front door. It is a really quint lovely school & the teachers were so warm & positive that I just loved the place straight away. He will go Tuesday mornings half eight til half eleven & Wednesday all day half eight until four as I will work the morning shift. Im excited for our new adventure, boo is so confident & willing to be friendly with anyone & everyone. Im happy in that he will make friends well & enjoy the new teachers he will have there.Plus a bonus is his lovely little friend Hayden also attends this school now so he will spend Wednesdays together whilst us mummys meet up & drink coffee :) Thursdays & Fridays are our fun days. All day together to do any activities we please. I love that I have all this time still to be mummy & have my little boy all to myself if I so wish. Lately we have been walking to the seafront & watching as the new swimming pool is built & watch the crane work. We have coffee dates & we both get a magazine & boo does his sticks with a babychino & snacks & I enjoy a drink & a moment to just watch him become so firecly independant. He drinks from an open top cup & rarely spills it & asks me to "let my do it mummy*" if I let him know I can help with his stickers & colouring. We darw smiley faces & just recently made moshi monsters happy faces out of playdough. He loves swirling all different colours into a ball & seeing it change like tie dye!! Im going to buy some white t-shirts next week & we will paint on these as he now has mad skills drawing circles & he loves drawing faces with hair ontop hehe. Darcey doo can do one also, her art is dead cute. They have a whole wall in their room now being covered by all their beautiful art pieces they do with us or at school. We all love coming to nannas most weekends as Jasper & Dacrey have alot of bikes & cars here (storage in our flat is pitifull*). Grampy recently got them a ride along digger which Jasper adores & he has a motorised MX bike from Mikelaa, a police bubble car from Joey & a wooden beautiful balance bike from nanna. We sometimes take one home so boo can have one in the week to ride in when we do small errands. He absolutly adores Darceys scooter & we spents hours on day last month going around the nanny light park & he totally got the hang of it. He stuck his little butt so far out at first & looked so awkward but he nailed it & so we carried on into town along the seafront, it was like going to Disney that day, priceless he didnt stop smiling & when we got home he slept so long from the exhaustion of really toddler exercise! He has also learnt to run extremely fast just like his big sister, the only trouble being he loves to run down hills & this to me is a disaster waiting to happen & scares the bajesus outta me!! I of course hold is hand & run with him down these slopes but I then have horrid thoughts of tumbling myself & hurting him even worse. He loves the park, especially the newly built sea themed one by us with a huge pirate boat & brilliantly fast slides!! We both enjoy the music group we attend at Footprints day centre up our road. Jasper loves playing with the instruments & knows all the words to all the nursery songs. They have tea & snack break after singing & boo gets to play with all the toys at the centre & in the garden when the sun trys to shine!! :) He loves marshmallows to a ridiculous degree. He loves cake again to a ridiculous degree. Chocolate & sweets are next down the list. haha. He is so very good with his food & I am yet to see him reject a dinner or snack & really be upset about eating it. Tonight he had homemade stew with quorn burgers & swede & carrot mash. All brilliantly good so he could then eat his chocolate bunny Nanna had spoilt him with :) His speech has come on so very much even since Christmas & he now sings a line from a song after he has heard it in the car & then waits for a new line to repeat again. He is a very good little singer & we sing along to Ed Sheeran (mine & daddys fave). Even when he was just turning two he would sing my words back to me & Id get such a rush* Should really get some video evidence of this!! He loves puddles with such passion & knows his seasons & lots about the solar system & weathers now due to his lovely Usborne books :) He loves story time at home & at nursery & loves going to thre library to choose new books to borrow. We reguarly go to baby events & activities I see advertised the most recent being a fun day at Maybridge Keystone Centre. He had his face painted & done singing & dancing. Made a paper flower & designed a mask & decorated biscuits. Bella joined us & so did Marielle with Corey & he really just enjoyed the activities & being around other toddlers. I love doing activities like this & have never been to insecure to go even when Im goin alone as I see how much Jaspey enjoys these types of days out. I also love baking with both bubbas & just recently me & Jasper made salt dough animals that we could then paint when Darcey came to stay. He adored that I gave him all the responsibility of pouring the ingrediants I had measured into the big baking bowl & got to stir. We love arts & crafts & the kiddi winks both love playing any type of imaginative play with daddy as he is so good at making up themes & storys & characters with all their toys. We also love finding new farms & animal shelters & do these of a weekend when we have daddy home from work & Darcey to stay. We always without a doubt have the best family weekends even if we stay in as me & Gary so enjoy seeing how happy our children are to be together & to be our family unit. This weekend we had such a wonderful time. It was Mothers Day Sunday & we had a Baptism to attend for baby Maiyah. It was a long church service but very beautiful & in light of our current situation with my darling cousin being ill it felt quite nice being in church in a strange way as im not remotley religious. This service though was lovely & included the children often as to keep them from getting stressed. As soon as the priest invited the children up to the alter Jaspey was standing! They all held hands & were blessed & then were asked to shake their neighbours hand. I took Darceys as I could see how shy she felt & we giggled away whilst Jasper shook hands with the priest & a few of the other children. So lovely & on another occassion the bubbs were invited up to collect a bunch of daffodils for their mummys in light of Mothers day. Well that was too cute Jasper looked so proud waiting there patiently looking back at me & grinning knowing he was able to suprise me with a gift of flowers & Darcey also felt confident enough to collect some. She gave her bunch to Daddy & then changed her mind & gave them to Auntie Bella haha. They were wonderfully behaved & a lady came up to me after the service & congratulated me on my beautiful children & commented on how well behaved they were. Really made me feel so strong & proud as a mummy to these sweet angels & I do give them so much credit though as i believe naturally they really are just great, well behaved lil souls & I guide them well but their own hearts do too. We had a meal after wards & again they ate well, sat in their seats & didnt moan at all even when their pizza was the last order to come out. It was a rather dull day in the life of a child but they made it fun for themselves & the people around them obviously so enjoyed their company & kept them entertained too but they were just so brilliant. After we went to the hospital to meet with our whole family for hot chocolate & cake in the restuarant with Carly joingin us in her wheelchair. They had a couple of hours of playing with their toys & running around with Joss & Uncle Sam so ended on such a high. I have to say aswell childrens reactions to trauma is so brilliantly wonderful. Jasper had already seen Carly & was completley unfazed by her shaved hair & huge scar & weak voice, he just got up on the bed with her & enjoyed going up & down over & over with the bed remote. Darcey was to see Carlky on this visit & I had explained everything to her & shown her a picture I had taken of Carly & her reaction was so sensintive in asking how Carly was & what happened & why does she have a poorly head. Sh egreeted Carly lovingly & that made my heart smile as I know that children have a tendancy to be slightly too honest & I was scared she would be fearful of Carly altered appearence but like I say they were both immune to her battle scars & just saw Carly for the character she holds. So perfectly beautiful my little bubbas. The innocence of a childs mind** 143

my bumpkin love*

 As it stands now we have Darcey only every other weekend for the full weekend. Obviously this does not make us happy & I used to be able to collect her from home & take her to pre-school once a week to compensate not having a weekend visit but we are not allowed these visits now she is in school full time. It is so very hard not seeing her & we are trying to think of new ways we can ask her mum to see or at least speak to Darcey within the period we dont have time with her. We miss her so badly & when she comes home it is so warm & loving I just wish she could stay forever. Jasper just beams & so loves having his sister at home & we of course relish in our love for her & enjoy again being a family unit as whole as can be. I hope in the future we will be allocated more time with cherub pie & have daily contact with her through the phone. We have her home tonight & treated the bubbas to ice creams & movie night before bed. They are still at half eight awake sharing the same bed & just giggling & chatting. I want to tell them to sleep as their routine is out & they are so overtired its gonna be a mission to get them to sleep peacefully but hearing them giggle & knowing their happy snuggling in Jaspeys bed with their teddys is just too cute, one time wont hurt** Jasper really is just thrilled to see his doo, his bestest ever friend. Ive just gone in to calm them both & got the biggest kisses from princess & the hardest squeezes. I lay hugging her & she held my hands squeezing them waiting for a response from me to squeeze back, an unwritten message of something, a bond. She kept kissing my hand & snuggling it to her cheeks, so precious.
Darcey told me & daddy earlier that she kissed her boyfriend at school today & he didnt want her to but her friend told her to, too grown up sweetpea** hehe. She said his name is ... & he doesnt speak english like we do but he says the same words!! We very rarely get snippets of info from missi moo's other home life so was really nice to enjoy a conversation with her & not feel that she were guarded. Oh & she told us that she dressed as Dotty (Dorothy!!) from Wizard of Oz for world book day. Can just imagine how beautiful you looked honey bee. We have the whole weekend, infact Mothers day weekend, to enjoy our lovely family & even though the english weather is not easing up for us to enjoy time outdoors Im sure we will make it a special one as always when cherub is home. Although this fortnight has been hellish I have still been thankfully distracted by my beaut Studley boo & have had some nice sunny days to go scooting & to practise his running & jumps. Jasper is obsessed by another kids tv programme Lazytown. I have to say its bareable & sometimes I get a little to involved in the storyline too. Bubb loves the foreign style music that goes with the show & the end it always plays the same song which gets Jaspey on his toes jumping & dancing like his favourite character Sportacus. He looks like a budding gymnast bouncing round the lounge (maybe another new activity to pursue). Tomorrow morning Jasper will attend a new dance class for the second time. He absolutely loved his first lesson & picked up the moves & the songs really well. Such a gorge boy. Daddy & Darcey joined us & boo kept turning to them waving frantically & so exhilarated at his performance & so chuffed at himself for being so confident & good at dancing. 

It was raining so hard today but errands needed running & the weather never really ceases any activity we do so we geared up for the rain & Jasper had every passer by staring enchanted by the gorgeous happy boy splashing so hard in the puddles that even with a wetsuit, puffa jackets & wellies it still got into your socks!! Jumping so excitedly in the hugest puddle right in the centre of town with an audience, he looked so divinely happy. Watching his little body work how it should fascinates me even to this day. My body created that skin, muscle & bone & that just amazes me. The term having children is to have your heart run outside your body is so bloody true. These little hearts beats are my everything. If i say to Jaspey "Are you mummys happy heartbeat bubba?" he always answers with "my are mummy, me me happy!!." too cutee booty. Im so addicted to squeezing these lil bumpkins. I squeeze too hard & for too long I know but just embracing them is so consuming. I love bear hugging studley & feeling his heartbeat in my palm. If we nap together he makes me stroke his back (just like daddy*) & then a steal a squeeze, my hand holding his lil chest, so muscular & firm, not chubby like a newborn anymore. My amazing toddler toot. Dressing Jaspey is always a cuddle game too, him lunging at me whilst I try & get him to help himself into his sleeves & trouser legs. He just pounces & how can I deny him snuggs. Ive noticed in the past few months that he has started to get a few moles. Five adorn his little body now, he finds them fascinating & at first would point at the one on his hip & say "Dirty mummy!!." He has a cute light little one on his nose, his beauty mark. He has the most incredible soft, sweet smelling skin & now these to him are imperfections. He is such an adventure bunny & so the bruises & scars that will soon line his body scare me but it is just awesome to be able to share such a true closeness with my active amazing boo, the sweet child we created, the bond I so wanted & am so in awe of & blessed with. No words to describe the depth of love I have for my pickle bum. My sweet cherubs are my life. I never really include daddy into this blog much but Im so very blessed everyday for the love I have in my handsome man, the life he has given me, the life of a mother. xx 

143

Absent mind*

We have had a pretty brutal couple of weeks so have been unable to blog even though my little stud bubb has been so unbelievably amazing & motivating. He has helped me through so much even when he was having a strop or moaning for more milk I just kept going for that lil dude, he is just my absolute world* Long story short my beautiful cousin Carly has suffered a major stroke, shes recovering well but is still very poorly & in hospital. Jasper was so impressed when I told him that Carly went in a neenaw with lights flashing & sirens blazing all the way to London. I have been concentrating on creating a blog for Carly to document her illness, recovery & Evelyns activities whilst Carly has been unwell so she doesnt miss a thing so have been absent on my own but have not missed a thing when it comes to Jaspey boo. Darcey has been at her mummys & thank god we get to see her tonight as Im missing her so bloody much & just need to squeeze her so bad. Its Mothers day weekend & for the first time I will spend it with both my angels, selfish or not that makes me so happy & so proud. Gonna leave this link as small & start new post anyhow. New pics on facebook are here...

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