ducky

My sweet lil cherub has gained confidence & smiles galore again. Im sure the changed access timing & schedule to suit her better & us to see her more has been a massive positive for our sweet girly. She has had a few changes happen that could of been a knock but seem to of occured for the better & this makes me super dooper happy to see her vibrant energy back once again. It still slumps a little with the knowledge of home time looming or the fact that she is aware she still misses important occassions even when its not celebrated until were with her like her daddys birthday back in May. She understands fully her divided home status & schooling etc but will still ask why she cant come. Comstantly having to tell her that plans were not agreed by her mum does upset her so we choose to white lie our way out of some of these such things. It makes her feel more comfortable to not know her mum has declined us extra time for an occasion as it then still creates a negative in her heart against her mother instead of us which obviously also does not sit well with us so we choose to alter truths to help Ducky. She is such a charcater, she is goofy & gangly & just so incredibly loving at the moment & I hope this is through being content. It must be such a struggle for a little to understand why when love is such an important thing in the world that her mum & dad dont hold that feeling between them anymore. To a child seeing love between parents is hugely comforting. I just hope she always in our presence feels strength from our love as her step mama & Daddy. She will grow to seek what her family give her & so I, we, will give her our all always. The massive leaps she is showing us is testament that not all broken families have broken children. She has struggled & Im sure there will be many times again that she will. But for now, our spoirited lil butter bean is awesome, happy, lovable & loved beyond measure. 

This week she enjoyed telling studley all about her cuts, bruises & scrapes as a four year old & we looked through old photos of her to show him the picture of her when she had scabs on the her nose just like him. She is nearly as tall as nanna. She learnt to catch a ball which i was kicking to her each time & we tallied 126 on catch which was massively hard considering she was giggling so much. She is so athletic naturally & totally took to the new swingball set Nanna spoilt them with. She read with me. She read to Jaspey. She wanted to hear the story of my first night staying with her at our home when she was a lil ninja barely two year old, who escaped from her cot & woke me in the morning for milk. I woke up to her face right by mine saying "Milk pwease" It scared the hell outta me & she loves this** She has been saving pocket money & can count it up & when we add more pennies she can also count this into pounds & pennies. She is already asking for things for her birthday. And planning her party!! haha x 143

#meandmine

I rarely get an oppurtunity of all of my Harrisons looking groomed, happy & in one place together with a friend or family member to play cameraman. The odd family selfie is okay but i find with these I get the green light from the cherubs for 3 seconds of smiles & then its eye rubs & fake grins from Ducky & an impatient Jaspey. It takes my man at least 10 frames before he stops looking like Chandler Bing in photos too so basically its always 'we try', its mainly 'we fail' haha. But this weekend we got to enjoy our favourite place with my brother & his girly & baby boy Reggie roo. They took pics of us & I of them.

 Alongside this we had a great afternoon stroll in the sunshine, fed the ducks & climbed chalk hills & trees. Swanbourne Lake is just magical for all its beauty & magic hidden in the roots of the trees we clung to to climb & the surrounding scenes of Arundel castle. Plus spending time with my dear family & sweet sweet nephew is so lovely. He giggled away happily, gorgeous little angel. Jasper & Ducky flocking him for cuddles & forehead kisses. Too flaming cute<3

sick day=the BEST day*

This boy, this seriously divine little creature that curls around my limbs & clings to my waist at the most inconvenient, rushed moments, who is being a little bossy & HATES brushing his teeth of late, is my life & soul. He is just such a love bug oozing happiness that I just wanna bottle up. He’s had such a tough week bless him. Friendship falling outs at four years old are painful & falling flat on your face off the obsta-track as he calls it (obstacle course) is also very painful. Poor love of mine. He has bruises & cut up his nose almighty so. I hope it wont scar on his gorgeous freckle spots! He is pretty impressed today at his brave attitude & has been asking for photos of himself over & over haha. I got a call yesterday from his school (always ALWAYS makes me feel overwhelming anxiety instantly) They said he had fallen & would I like to come & see him. I got up there in a flash & he was so brave trying not to cry but failing, I was holding my own tears in until I got outside. I gave him cuddles & explained Darcey done the same at his age & his cuts were way more army like, although she almost lost a tooth with her one!! His tooth actually has got a little wobbly of late so I should check that! Anyway he was wanting to stay for lunch as it was chocolate crumble day. Best ever right! When i picked him up it was more bruised but he was so energised & happy his playdate was still on. But after dinner he was showing signs the cuts were very sore & he was describing a headache. He got very upset about how his week had gone & in truth has been asking me each morning to stop going to school. It all came to a head & my lil man broke down. He needed a day of comfort & activities that were governed by him. He needed a sick day because even though the headache would pass & the sores weren’t too bad in the morning, he at four is too young to suppress such big emotions. So I took the day to spoil, comfort, hug & kiss, squeeze, giggle & hold hands for hours with this baby of mine. I am so glad I took this day for him. He needed it, he needed me. Blessed it is that I can stop time for him. Its an inconvenience I know to some but he really had such a magical day. We woke cuddling, he had breadsticks with yoghurt as dip for breakfast, he chose what he wanted to wear, he chose what he wanted me in too :) we went to visit his favourite tree in Beach House Gardens & he leaped from step to step in the brick work, i gave him confidence & independence in letting him run on ahead further than usual, he had McDonalds for lunch & sweets for the beach, we hunted for crabs under the pier & slowly walked the rock pools, he ran in the sea, as usual fully clothes, he chose a bottle of water as opposed to ice cream!! And we went to the park "For 15 hours please mummy!" Actually stayed for nearly three. He made two new friends & eventually got that ice cream. And to top it off he ate turkey dinosaurs for dinner whilst watching tom & Jerry back to back. It was his very own 'YES' day & he so deserved it. 
My lil love, my absolute heartbeat. I just cherish you sweetheart. The way you are so confident that you are so loved, you are so happy. "Mama Im still handsome even with my cuts!" What a boy. I just friggin adore you Jasper Casey. You make me so happy. That is it really at the end of the day. Me, Daddy, Sissy, all your family,  the world. You shine in our lives. You make us so happy. 143 sweet angel.  My greatest adventure, Jaspey Boo. xx 

oh & also he wore his belt as an accesssory around his waist like super heroes, wouldnt actually wear it to stop his lil jeans hanging low haha! And he keeps calling me lovely because Im always warm when he comes to snuggle in the morning, I think he thinks Im warm just for him haha!