Wednesday, 20 August 2014

summer holiday siesta

So i love blogging all our incredible happy times & adding photos into the post to build the scene. I love blogging...but summer holidays has suckered all my free time & Im rarely on here which bugs me but I guess realistically once Jasper is in school & the adventures slow down to just weekend so will my posts. I still cannot mention school without an instant lump in my throat & a quickening pulse. Im not scared for Jasper, I wrote of this in a recent post. But I am so overwhelmingly sensitive to not being ready myself for this, for missing him, for feeling lonely & out of place as my role for the past four years has been Jaspers mama full time, always. Busy, demanding & his everything before my own has been such a schedule & healthy habit to me. It wont change dramatically other than I will have too much time at first to truly, achingly miss him. I bought all his school clothing last week & seeing him proudly pose in it & turn into this giggly, hyper handsome stud just consumed me. His beauty soulfully & visually, mentally & verbally is all consuming to be honest. He is so incredible, he has been such a delight to parent for this many years. I still am confused as to how we got here so quickly but hey, here we are & I will be fine, he will be super & all will be well :):)

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