Wednesday, 31 July 2013

i'll have it for my birfday!!

So the boy turned three. Hes been big boy three for a whole day now. I cant really believe it. Hes slowly changed into a little boy not baby but now hes actually saying "Mummy Im three" & holding up his three fingers. We enjoyed such an amazing weekend of celebrations. We went to the firestation day on Saturday in Broadwater. Rode in a fire engine round the streets, Darcey riding shotgun like a boss, so confident & happy stating that she would like to be a fire fighter & fire engine driver when shes older* (first when im bigger quest!!) The weather turned so we went home for snuggles & film with Skye & Craigy joining us. So nice & chilled* Sunday was the special day, family & friends invited to Washbrooks family farm in Hurstpierpoint. Its a crazy good play area outdoors & in & had gorgeous two week old piglets & tractor ride round the fields. We had the most immense day with best friends & Jaspeys lil buddy Hayden joined him too which was lovely. Adults & bubbas alike had so mch fun on the ride on bikes & scooters & then onto the huge bouncy pillow which was dangerous when on there with grown heavy men trying to fight to be king of the bouncy castle* I laughed so hard I got a headache, too funny. Jasper looked like he got whiplash everytime he fell down, he absolutly loved bouncing with daddy & going so high. They spent alot of time on the trampolines too. They also had lots of slides, a zip wire, swings & climbing frames which Jasper conquered with Hayden & they looked like such big boys climbing up the small stones whilst me & Hannah got sweaty hands & nervous giggles* Such brave lil boys, such big boys!! Adventurous, courageous & curious to explore. So magical. Jasper got his gifts at Nannas that evening from everyone & jeez the boy got spoilt. He has a full on collection & then some of Marvel heroes, clothing & a mini sized actual quad bike from his cray cray Uncles & Grampy!! I lost my breath watching him but he had so much fun & was a good boy & insisted on wearing his helmet & goggles hehe* He has been on his spiderman scooter running errands from room to room all day today. We had a nice, chilled, slow day today after yesterdays events. I got very brave & decided after exploring the Science museum for my birthday & not having enough time to do all the floors that I would go again with Darcey also in tow. Im like superwoman to be honest, tackling London solo is a mission let alone with two bubbas & a buggy* But we did it so well, both cherubs behaved so incredibly when I stated the next mission to them, step here, dont step there, keep close* But we had so much fun. On the train they enjoyed playing I spy & eating snacks then when we arrived we had to brave the tube which was so much easier than Gary feared!! Science museum was a blast, we looked at the amazing displays for the hunman body, space & played in the childrens area 'The Garden' & the google booth which had loads of interactive games & sensory activities for the bubbas. The happily danced along in the booth that recorded their shadows & played the funny shapes on the screen infront of them, we got a great souvineer too, another look inside me Usbourne book called See inside Planet Earth. After lunch we headed to the History museum for the Dinosaurs. The display was just immense & both kids nearly cryed with excitement. My damn camera battery had died so no shots taken but their adorable faces will be in my heart forever* There was mechanical small dinosaurs within the skeletol statues & fossils & at the end there was a giant T-rex that roared & moved, swinging his head to see you & blinking his scary orange eyes. Darcey was nervous but so brave & Jasper was just in awe. He stared so widely saying "Wow mummy". It excited them so much & they both had heaps of questions after. They now believe through most of their own ramblings that that is the T-rex's job & at night he gets paid & buys yummy food & runs aound a rooftop garden to stretch his legs! I cant believe how lucky I am to have such beautiful, happy cubs & such a supportive, gorgeous baby daddy in Gary for trusting me totally even though he had a near on heart attack when I told him my plans to take both kiddy winks to London. It was the most incredible day & the train home was so much fun. Jasper slept the whole way so me & Darcey had some time together & we just had such giggles. Crisp fights, kiss fights & blink fights. She sat on my lap facing me, giggling away with crispies all in her teeth & never looked more stunning. She was so happy in that moment, i didnt care if her loud laughs were annoying train commuters or that her tiggles were bloody horrid (i hate being tiggled)* We had such a brilliant, magical, care free, childesh day* Love love love 143

Monday, 29 July 2013

Happy birthday Jasper Casey

 happy 3rd birthday cherub pie** my big brave action hero boy! You are so grown up, it's incredible to me the pull of emotion I feel around ur birthdays, reliving those first few days when we were so delicate with you, when we cleaned your face each morning so gently with cotton balls & water, so sensitive & tender with ur handling. the magical snuggle ups me and daddy adored with you in the middle of us cosy in bed, daddy & I just so absolutely crazy in love with you. I do so miss your little snoring snuffles, your "achoo ahhhh" sneezes & your adorable suckle when feeding. Your skin is still milky soft* I miss these sweet bubb but I am so very proud of the darling boy you have become, I am consumed & overwhelmed by my love for you, the beauty u hold & quite frankly the absolute gorgeousness of your angel face* you are my mini dimple king and my gosh I adore you. My heartbeat, enjoy your special day xxx your mummy moo poo poo head!! :):)

Friday, 26 July 2013

four years over

So this past week I met up with an old friend for a playdate. She has a son Jaspers age & a daughter ( little Lily) who is 22 months old. We were playing for over three hours & Lily was such a cutie, confidently playing with me, talking with me & accepting my hand to help her on the swings, me a complete stranger to her. Sitting down to lunch & chattin with her mama I realised Lily is the exact age Darcey doo was when I first met her. It transported me back, ignited all the memories that were hidden, fuzzy in my brain. It was so huge to me that lil Darcey was just a baby when I first came into her life & her into mine. Just a gorgeous cherub* Tiny, chubby cheeked, still in nappies & with a huge love of quavers* I was so much more scared of her than she was me to start. I didnt have friends with children or family with bubbas so I just didnt know how to carelessly let go & be silly without feeling insecure. But after a few meets she stayed at her daddys one evening & I did to. I made her dinner & helped with her bath & in the morning it was me who woke to her good morning calls. We snuggled on the sofa at 6am watching Milkshake. I made her drinks & a small breakfast & after an hour she fell asleep on me so I dozed off to. I was awoken to Gary smiling taking a pic on his phone. He said he loved me so truley that day & it was the moment I realised I had not only fallen for Gary but Darcey too. She was so giggly with me & clung to my hand when we were out. I spent money on new clothing, shoes & hair accessories for her. I brought her books & puzzles & my favourite movies from my childhood. She motivated me to be so much better, so selfless & so patient. My own mum had tears in her eyes praising me for being so wonderful to her, these words fuelled my desire to be everything to her. My weekends became about her, parks, seaside trips & soft play fun. Gary & I became so much stronger with the encouragement of her love & happiness with me. We became a family fast & I have no regrets. Little Lily and her innocence & happy confidence around me showed me that I was really so right in my approach with Ducky, loving her too much was never an option, it happened because we both wanted it too...143 swet angel pie* ILY

Thursday, 25 July 2013

A letter to a teenage me...

Dearest You, 

I recently just turned twenty eight. On appearence people believe me to be a teen mum with added stereotype & attitude. Really not much has changed but it got me thinking of how far i really have come since those teen years. The years I dreamt of being older, the unknown adulthood that made me anxious & excited at the same time. Being under the same roof & care of my dear family, my twinny boo by my side for literally everything. The good & the bad.  

First things first, you achieved the have lived very fortunate early adult years & have followed an unbelivabley bright path. You made your achievements happen so be proud. You travelled half way across the world alone in search of adventure, the fizz of your daily existence being that you seek experience & a journey in everything & everyone. You have gained the truest friends & lost a few. You have understanding & knowledge that you desired to have, clinging on to facts that interest you & that you have now interested your own children with. Yes, you have two beautiful angels. One born to you & one a blessing to behold. Darcey and Jasper. They are your heart beat & smile. Given to you by the most incredible studley, your wonderful boyfriend. You are happy, content & so very accepting & patient with the world now. No more tears over reflections in the mirror & being the odd one out. You are still a black sheep. Your love for vintage floral things makes your friends giggle at how oldy you are. Your quirky & so uncool. But in a good way. You wont be bullied for this anymore. You care for your health now not the number on the scales & your interests, hobbies, loves & priorities revolve pretty much solely around your wonderful cherubs now not your appearence or selfishness. You were selfish* You understand the true meaning to sister as you have grown with the most beautiful, loving sisters. Joey has by far earnt her nickname of cuteness. She still is so very cute, such a darling & so honest, a great friend, a brilliant sister & an outstanding auntie. Your twinny boo, well she is still right by your side. She is such an adoring auntie to both Jasper & Darcey and is quick to teach be it new words, cool dance moves of most recently how to ride her horses. You are in contact everyday, you have an incredible love for each other (you love her minions*) & now if you fight you crave the serenity to stop being stubborn & just apologise rather than harbouring hatred as teenagers know to do so well. You are so unaffected by negativities that do not hold with you, will not accept untrue facts but are still very much an emotional wreck with your senses overwhelming you most days. Be it happy or sad. You are not bipolar haha, just a tad over emotional still. Not everything worked out on the route you thought best taken, but you learnt from it & that is so very valuable. 
You still have a huge love for reading & as futuristic technology goes you own twelve books on one handheld tablet called a kobo (basically what you used to always invent in your conversations with twinny on those nights your heavy books hurt your hands). You still love crime documetarys & reality tv. You have a passion for vintage clothing & household items, shabby chic you call it. You adore walks along the beach & around Swanbourne lake & realise how wonderful living on the south downs right by the sea is, so I guess, you appreciate nature. See that makes me old, Im nearly thirty!! eek...
You are well travelled & have had some amazing family trips away. You also travel to Australia, some what in a confused escape but hugely for seeking life on your terms. You work to fund a trip for three months up the east coast, these memories will never leave you & the friends you made are always in your heart, they made you feel energised to be you, they believed in you & affirmed your independance & security within yourself. 
You live everyday for the child you created. Your happiness is shown in him, he exudes contentment, blissful happy bunny that he is. You call him studley & he calls you poo poo head* You were made for each other. Your body changed dramatically with your heart in overload when he was born. Your heart beats irregularly when he steals hugs & kisses from you & with those darling words "I love you mummy, i do.."
And you have demolished the disney tale of the wicked step mother theory, you are a wonderful mother to a child you did not create. You have a brilliant relationship & your love for one another is different, its special & unique like you both. You are entrapped by her curiosity & shy qualities. She was the making of you as a mother & regardless of what happens from now into your elderly years you will always be grateful for her innocent love & the teachings she blessed you with, you will always love her. You have their amazing daddy to thank for your blessings too, he is an adorable, dimple king who has hold of your heart & soul & i wouldnt choose a better partner, you did so good* 
You have so much more to encourage you than you realise, you have a wonderful life. You made it that way & so for that I am so so proud. Your decisions, directions & journey were right. Stay true. 

143 x

ps- you actually get over yourself, stop taking selfies so often & learn to smile not pout**

boo boo nearly not two...

The studley bubb, the love of my life & the beat of my heart! The happiest Jaspey pie you will ever know of...he's turning three in three days. This is hard to fathom, exciting, scary, overwhelming & intense. I just cannot believe this happy little angel has been in my heart for so long now. Its going too quick, each day an exciting new beginning, each day just the happiest existence with my happy cherub. I have just not enough words of love to describe how amazing Jasper is. How amazing these three years have been & continue to be. My love is just explosive, a spilling over huge feeling in my body that I just am so in awe of to this day. Im so immensley proud of the bubba he has become, the lil man, my Jasper Casey Harrison as he now says...
People tell me how brilliant he is, how wonderful his personality is & the character he posseses is just so cheeky & fun. I even had my girlies recently saying they were going to hand their newborns to me for the first few years so their children will be as beautifully behaved & loving as my stud. Cant get better than that really. Today we had a kiss up. Its our game he says. Basic rules are who can kiss the biggest kiss* Best game ever. We had a leavers party from his pre-school & his art was displayed on the walls & his friends hugged him goodbye for the summer. He climbed the big scary wall at the beach & survived with no scratches. He unbuckles his seatbelt when the car has stopped & says "Im a big boy, I did it!", he trys to wipe his botty himself, every sentance is "I do it mama." He is not a baby, hes not a toddler, he is a boy. Officially...
Im not sure if it hurts or not. I dont yearn for him as a baby, i miss it for sure but Im so in love with the special boy he is that I dont really think of it but it is quite profound to me, age 3. The next birthday he has is his last as a non educated small child. Its all just so intense. For his birthday weekend we have the annual Firestation day event to attend on Saturday, he can ride in a neenaw & induldge in his love for emergency vehicles with a picnic & like last year he can dance along to the live band!! Then on Sunday we have a day out planned with friends & family to Washbrooks Farm. It has the best bouncy pillow ever & huge amount of park equipment to enjoy, zip wire, indoor slides & soft plays & obviously animals to pet & a tractor to ride. We have been having amazing weather this summer so Im hoping it holds out* We have an array of Marvel characters items to give him for his birthday, next dress up outfit being superman, new spiderman clothing & figures, Joey has a spiderman scooter for him & Bella an Iron Man figure. His favorite things ever just now. Anything Marvel or playdough* Cannot wait to celebrate the life of the best soul to grace this wonderful world...143 Jaspey boo, u are my happiness & heartbeat*

Hisaronu, Turkey 2013

Its been far too long since last post. We have been enjoying a wonderful summer so to be honest Jasper & I have not stopped. Adventure days are everyday & we are outside more than in just now hence not being on the computer. But after a month & a day of drizzle Im ready to type up the unbelievable experience that our Turkey holiday was...
So, how do I fit this post into a somewhat small readable format not a book. Coz this holiday was a book in itself...adventures, love stories, hilarious twists n turns. A week of pure happiness. A week of blissful, chilled calm & for me no chores or cooking wup!! :) Together with my gorgeous man parenting our little angels, being a full family for such a long time :) Darcey being a beautiful water bubba, learning to swim with no aids, kissing us good morning & goodnight everyday, long hugs, girly giggles* And the studley, bestest damn boyo ever, amazing dancing, amazing character all day everyday, stress free, happy beyond belief to be around all his fam, happy to be with his best friend Darcey for so long, loving his spiderman rubber ring, pushing people in the pool & his water pistol!! The photos do sum it all up, the essence of pure devine happiness was just so apparent in us all. Only one moment made us grumble & looking back it was just too funny really & Im sure Ducky will cringe in horror when we relay the story when shes older, but lil miss got very stroppy after a week of huge amounts of pool time, swimming, dancing, early mornings & late nights. She didnt want to experience the mud bath we visited on our last day, she didnt want to paddle in the sea & she certainally did not want to leave holiday. She caused a fuss on each of these but was quickly calmed & like i say it really is hilarious to us now. Our holiday diary consisted of waking up for hotel breakfast, all sorts of choices & the rumbly tummys being fed well, then onto the same area beside the pool (we bagged this spot every day without problems) ice creams, coffees, milkshakes, football games, jumping in, slides, lilo & crocodile cruising, more snacks, nap time, then back to hotel to be ready for an evening out, some park time, walk into town then pick of many restaurants, shopping for 'genuine fakes', meeting camels, going on the bouncy kingdom!! back home to rest! Just so damn good. Me & Gary even got time to sun soak & have us time as everyone so enjoyed being around the bubbas that they would steal them for moments. Ducky learning to swim with her buddys Katy & Jade & sharing secrets & ice creams with Bella. Studley being tiggled, tricked & suncreamed up by Joey & Dave. Just such a fantastic week. We shared such adventures as part of our loving, huge family & no other word sums it up better than Bliss. There you go...143