Friday, 26 July 2013

four years over

So this past week I met up with an old friend for a playdate. She has a son Jaspers age & a daughter ( little Lily) who is 22 months old. We were playing for over three hours & Lily was such a cutie, confidently playing with me, talking with me & accepting my hand to help her on the swings, me a complete stranger to her. Sitting down to lunch & chattin with her mama I realised Lily is the exact age Darcey doo was when I first met her. It transported me back, ignited all the memories that were hidden, fuzzy in my brain. It was so huge to me that lil Darcey was just a baby when I first came into her life & her into mine. Just a gorgeous cherub* Tiny, chubby cheeked, still in nappies & with a huge love of quavers* I was so much more scared of her than she was me to start. I didnt have friends with children or family with bubbas so I just didnt know how to carelessly let go & be silly without feeling insecure. But after a few meets she stayed at her daddys one evening & I did to. I made her dinner & helped with her bath & in the morning it was me who woke to her good morning calls. We snuggled on the sofa at 6am watching Milkshake. I made her drinks & a small breakfast & after an hour she fell asleep on me so I dozed off to. I was awoken to Gary smiling taking a pic on his phone. He said he loved me so truley that day & it was the moment I realised I had not only fallen for Gary but Darcey too. She was so giggly with me & clung to my hand when we were out. I spent money on new clothing, shoes & hair accessories for her. I brought her books & puzzles & my favourite movies from my childhood. She motivated me to be so much better, so selfless & so patient. My own mum had tears in her eyes praising me for being so wonderful to her, these words fuelled my desire to be everything to her. My weekends became about her, parks, seaside trips & soft play fun. Gary & I became so much stronger with the encouragement of her love & happiness with me. We became a family fast & I have no regrets. Little Lily and her innocence & happy confidence around me showed me that I was really so right in my approach with Ducky, loving her too much was never an option, it happened because we both wanted it too...143 swet angel pie* ILY

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