Friday, 24 January 2014


The chime of the new year clock striking twelve had a lot of resivations for me this year. Im not even that into new years, I dont get it all really but this year I felt sad seeing off 2013 as it was just such a revealing, rewarding, brilliant year for me & our little love bugs. It was a fab year, but that bong of big ben signalled 2014, the year Jasper goes to school. As serious as these sentances are and may seem far too dramatic, I just cant stop fretting about it. My mum realised she only has 40 Mondays left of having her grandbubb for the afternoon. I have seeen three weeks pass by far too quickly from Nye. Its just too much to contemplate. Its such a hard concept for me to grasp. What am I without my little boy each day seeing as my role for three & a half years has solely & divinely been mummy. I would loose lil studley for five days a week for over six hours a day. Thats just too much. The face he gives me when I get him on his full day at pre school is just incredible & my heart always feels so overwhelmed & happy as we have both hugely missed each other. How will he cope? How will I cope? I think i worry about the latter more! He is such a social, happy bear in school, he has made close friends who will be alongside him at his new school if he gets his catchment place. He also was so kind to the new children who started his school after Christmas & his teachers speak so confidently of his willingness to learn & his enthusiasm in their teachings through stories, messy play or actual strict, routine teachings. We have sit down time most days were he loves to be encouraged to spell his name, learn his numbers & we do all sorts of different learning patterns to understand his pre school educations. He is just incredible, so from this yes Im not worried at all for my boy, he is so excited knowing he will be as big & strong as his sissy as she is in big girl school & he still reminds me of the garden area he loved at the school we were shown. Its me, I dont want to miss him. I dont want to loose his character when he is around other influences each day more than mama, I fear for him missing me, I just am getting myself so worked up. You get the idea. Jasper is my best friend. He is just such a delight everyday to be around, im blessed to wake to his lil giggles. It is so very rare we have a bad day, he doesnt really ever strop, hes easily consoled if hes turning that way. He is just perfection & I dont want our adventures to stop. We wont be able to say Thursday & Fridays are our days. We cant just ride on a train to London & view the museums, when we will it will be packed full of half term families. In many ways Im excited for him but I do feel him being so young, just turning four then school withing six weeks, is a bit too much. Oh heart... 

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